Ninja Gaiden Sigma (PS3)

Now, I know that the R0b0tninja seldom breaches the topics of Robots and pro-audio, but I must make an exception: Ninja Gaiden Sigma is the most accurate depiction of a R0b0tninja’s lifestyle that I have seen thus far. The Hagakure, the Book of Five Rings, the Tao: all of these have attempted to give a framework for the robotic pan-asiatic ninja warrior’s mindset. So far, unfortunately, none have correctly depicted our skill sets as aptly as the latest Ninja Gaiden, released for the completely ridiculous and financially unfeasible PS3 game console prefecture.

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In the latest installment in a series that, like all true Robotninjas, began life as an 8-bit rendering, you play as Ryu, a ninja (and possible robot–it takes place in the future), who somehow begins his journey in ancient Japan. His village is destroyed by a black samurai (with a purple cape, so, not just black, but also clearly Black). In revenge, he explodes the black samurai’s blimp after first exploding a grotesque cyborg that shoots lightening. It gets better.

You take the time to learn ninja magic, wield multiple swords, and to use the numchucks (spelled here in their original ancient pronunciation). Infiltrating the black samurai’s block in, what I assume is some kind of ninja city, you spend most of your time killing shit, like soldiers on motorcycles with rocket-launchers. This may be the first game to make decapitation a matter of such little concern, as you literally murderate everything you come in contact with.

Gamespot gave this game a 9 overall, but I would have to give it a 999–as a ninja and robot, I am always talking to my robotninja colleagues about the lack of fair and accurate portrayals of our kind in the media. People are always going on about our deadliness and limited applications in the “real world”, where instant decapitation isn’t always an option. It’s nice to finally see some fair and balanced representation, where our sometimes inappropriate needs for vengeance and ninja-magic are finally given a chance to be understood. If you don’t mind shelling out like 500 dollars for a PS3, and then another 60 bucks for the game, by all means, see the world through my eyes, if only for a moment: you will never be disappointed.

Posted: October 15th, 2007
at 11:05am by Bertr0n


Categories: r0b0t ninja,Reviews,video games

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