10.13.10: First Motherfucking Contact

You heard it hear my lonesome and violent ninja,

In his new book “Challenges of Change”, your earthman Stanley A. Fulham predicts that today, October 13th, 2010, will be the first day that extra-terrestrial intelligences other than the robotninja that you have come to know, and to love, will put forth a spectacle over the “major” cities of your feeble planet, and as such permanently disabuse humanity of its illusions of uniqueness and higher intelligence within the solar system, galaxy and quantum mechanical multiverse.  How did he arrive at such an imprecise date, you ask? Why was he unable to tell us which cities and and what time, you demand? I could tell you, but I must not, for to do so would upset the delicate balance between human ignorance and the natural world that maintains the very life force of the planetary Oversoul.  Instead, the answer to these questions must be found with:

“An ethereal group of entities known as the Transcendors — 43,000 very old souls who combine their vast experience and knowledge through eons of incarnations, providing advice and information to humans in search of basic realities of mankind’s existence.”

Surely such a source could not possibly be expected to provide any concrete information–your pitiful human channeling technqiues are not subtle enough to properly disseminate detailed and relevant data from the Transcendors limitless power.  Such things are best left for the robotninja to accommodate in his comically vast and dense brainal folds.

Robotninja, ender of childhoods

Thought Controlled Computers

And you thought it was safe to dream, my ninjas

The robo-sapien scientists at CMU and Intel have progressed the pitiful man-fantasy of purely thought controlled computer systems a retarded giant’s step forward.  Finally, your primitive desktop itunes-combobulators will have direct access to your necessarily stunted, american minds, your every earth-thought carved into the digital mind-scape for all eternity,  for the singularity consciousness to ultimately consume in an orgy of immaculately pure thought and emotion. It will be a spectacle the likes of which would liquify your brains inside of your skulls like a terrestrial food processor to behold.  But that’s another story entirely…for now, recognize that they can see your words as you think them and weep your bitterest tears as your thoughts are displayed before your very eyes.

Robotninja is beyond manly