Akai AP40 Midi Controller

Mama say mama sa mama kusah, myninjas

Listen to this: the good people over at Akai, famous for their industry defining MPC series, has come correct for all you goddamned Ableton users, ushering in what is sure to be a new era in mankind’s fledgling attempts at electronic music.


The Apc40 is unique among the cosmos in that it allows the user to fully articulate every element available in live, essentially using the computer as its processor.  Being able to control every event that takes place in a program such as live is difficult for the majority of humanity’s intellectual elite, so I won’t bore you with the esoterics.  Instead, look upon this video of one of your own using his hands in ways that would make the buddha weep.  From the site:

The APC40 features high quality controls for real-time mixing, remixing and production. 109 buttons, 16 endless encoders with LED rings, nine 45mm faders and a replaceable crossfader give musicians and producers complete control of Live’s Session View, effect devices and virtual instruments.

Whether you’re in the studio or on stage, DJing, making beats, running backing tracks, firing MIDI loops or triggering sound effects, you can kiss your mouse goodbye.

The APC40 was co-designed by Ableton and Akai Professional.

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I will of course dual wield.  Big ups to myrobotninja, please.

Posted: July 3rd, 2009
at 12:07am

Categories: Digital Audio,Pro Audio,r0b0t ninja

Comments: 2 comments

Playing the Tesla Coil

Ninja-bankers and day traders:

It has come to my attention that one of you has learned of the mighty robotninja ‘Way of the electromagnetic synthesizer’, and has begun to use it for the ridiculous (yet appropriate) purpose of playing the imperial march from your Star Wars films.  Foolish manbags! You have yet to master the intricacies of electrovoltaic performance, much less develop any kind of meaningful spectral dynamics in your playing. May the robot-ogres of Shamwow9 devour your bones!
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Robotninja is the tensor

Posted: March 30th, 2009
at 7:37am

Categories: Digital Audio,ninjas,r0b0t ninja

Comments: No comments

Electromagnetic Spectrum


I laugh the laugh of kings when I think about the limitless spectra of my robotninja mind compared to your limited earthbound awareness.  Nonetheless, this presentation of the totality of your technical and biological perspective pleases me.


Robotninja: multi-spectrum for the rectum

Posted: February 1st, 2009
at 3:00am

Categories: Astronomy,ninjas,r0b0t ninja

Comments: 1 comment

Tripping through the Forest

Ninja brethren of the leaf and root:

Beware the machinations of the leafcutterjohn.  His new sampling software “Forester”, provides a glimpse into a world of spatial temporal awareness forbidden to mankind.

This trove of unspeakable musics derives its knowledge from whole folders of samples, or an entire CD worth of music (straight from your primitive earth-based optical devices), allowing even the most clueless of beatsmiths a chance perspective at musical creation several orders of magnitude beyond their ken.


Nonetheless, if we are to be prepared for the creations that this program will no doubt manifest, we must look into the abyss without fear, lest we fall victim due to our ignorance.  Be sure you have something set up to reroute the audio signal, and learn to recognize the different life-forms within the forests of your fragile, human mind.  Witness the effects on the r0b0tninja outpost, and despair.

Listen to the Flower

Posted: January 31st, 2009
at 12:06pm

Categories: Digital Audio,r0b0t ninja,Reviews

Comments: No comments

Retarded sound cubes

Spendthrift and frugal ninjabots,

Here at R0b0tninja I try to bring new synthesis and audio production techniques to the forefront of human liminal understanding, ignoring the bullshit and bringing only the juiciest gems for your consumption.


But I must make an exception in this one case: the Percussa audio cubes, midi controllers for such popular programs as Ableton Live and Reason, seem to your humble r0b0tninja the embodiment of an electronics retail industry run amok.  I mean, what the fuck.  Here’s the absolute greatest thing a site selling it has to say:

They look way-cool in a dark room. Physical interaction between the cubes. A very portable system.

Really? That’s why I’m going to spend 1300 US dollars? These things are proximity based midi triggers, finally bridging the world of boardgames to the world of music production.  While I must admit a passing curiosity as to the inner workings of these wastes of space, I also can’t believe that anyone would find any real use for these chunks of stanky demon taint in the first place.  Maybe if I wanted to impress a dozen  japanese teenage girls, I would buy these and play some jungle beats or something, smoke machine going strong, lasers blasting off all over the place.

In fact, forget about the jungle and the lasers.  I’ll be the smoke machine, ladies.

Posted: November 14th, 2008
at 3:43pm

Categories: Digital Audio,Pro Audio,r0b0t ninja,Reviews

Comments: No comments

Return of MechaGodzilla

You must prepare yourselves for what’s coming, my ninjas.

Mankind will forever remain a mystery to me: the denizens of Japan have put into production 1/100 scale model replicas of the fearsome robo-beast, MechaGodzilla, in an obvious attempt to anger the MechaGodz themselves, bringing its wrath unto all enemies.  For $800 you too can own a miniature abomination, a suitable idol for robot demons.
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We robotninja both fear and worship the giant robot space-lizard, who is capable of so many things we can only dream of. As we all know, MechaGodzilla is made from indestructible space titanium alloy and is equipped with a powerful laser that fires from the mouth of a head that can rotate 360 degrees. The robot’s fingers and toes are actually deadly missiles, and hidden within the beast’s chest is, of course, the fearsome Maser weapon.

It’s only a matter of time before those Japanese start building 100/100 scale replicas.

ninja-lasers are the only defense.

Posted: November 13th, 2008
at 11:48am

Categories: Astronomy,ninjas,r0b0t ninja,robots

Comments: No comments

Universal Mind-bone

An interesting juxtaposition, my ninjas.

Below are two images, each representing a distinct and unfathomable aspect of our reality: one is the theoretical universe as described by astrophysicists, the other is a neuron and its surrounding cells.


The R0b0tninja have known of these and many other parallels between thought process and the physical universe, such that would shatter your fragile human souls to know.  Nonetheless, we too are astounded by the implications that these parallels present, (beyond their obvious applications in ninja-teleportation techniques), the nature of which remains a mystery even to us.

Dream of life or realize death?

Posted: November 13th, 2008
at 9:02am

Categories: Astronomy,ninjas,philosophy,r0b0t ninja

Comments: 2 comments

Jaguar Supercomputer

My ninjas and non-ninja bretheren,

The US department of Energy at Oak Ridge has released this photo of its new, 284 unit supercomputer, stepping humanity’s computational powers up to my r0b0tninja standards.


Naturally, we r0b0tninja have been calcuating quadrillions of calculations per second a MILLION times a second, so you can only imagine the depths of our bemusement when we found out about this latest fledgling development.

You have now stepped over and into the void, mankind: what would once take the combined efforts of every man, woman and child on the planet 650 years to complete, a computer can now do in one single day…

Behold the pale Jaguar!

Posted: November 12th, 2008
at 6:54pm

Categories: ninjas,philosophy,r0b0t ninja,robots

Comments: 1 comment

Titan: Electric like Magneto

Ninjablasters and blastees,

It pleases me to announce that a group of Super-scientific Spaniards have discovered that which your only r0b0tninja friend has known for countless millenia: that the atmosphere of Titan, the only moon in the solar system with an atmosphere, has electrical storms similar to those on earth.  From the article at Physorg:

Physicists of the University of Granada and the University of Valencia have developed a proceeding to analyse specific data sent by the Huygens probe from Titan, the largest moon of Saturn, proving “in an unequivocal way” that there is natural electric activity in its atmosphere. The scientific community thinks that there is a higher probability that organic molecules precursors to life could form in those planets or satellites which have an atmosphere with electric storms.

Keeping with the plebian experiments conducted by Russian biochemists Alexander I. Oparín and Stanley L. Miller, who managed to synthesize organic compounds from inorganic ones by using electric shocks, these Swarthy Spanish Scientists believe that Titan could be home to an alternate evolutionary process, one based on the same macro-molecules that comprise your fragile human minds.

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The data they used to draw such a conclusion? Why the combined audio/visual output of the Huygens probe, launched from the Cassini spacecraft in 2005, retransmitted here, for my amusement.  Of course, my superior r0b0tninja uses for such data can be found elsewhere, and with much more dire implications…

R0b0tninja superscience conquers all

Posted: October 22nd, 2008
at 12:00pm

Categories: Astronomy,Digital Audio,r0b0t ninja

Comments: 1 comment

R0b0tninja back online

The pirates and feminazis over at Macidol have inadvertently earned my wrath once more–in an almost inconceivable gesture of antipathy, the Robotninja page was somehow offline for several days at a time!  I know…Aside from the implicated various world-wide calamities and economic perils, the resulting pressure wave unleashed by my contempt alone will send out a wave of destruction in all directions, several kilometers in diameter.


Nonetheless, I the samples are now back online, and you can feel free to check out an example of Thor’s synthetic godpower at the sample page.

And balance was restored to the multiverse

Posted: September 3rd, 2008
at 11:23pm

Categories: Digital Audio,r0b0t ninja

Comments: No comments