Symphonic Assault Maneuvers

For any ninjas seeking to bone up on their orchestral composing skills, myninjas at Audio Impressions have developed a software/hardware midi orchestra called REALTIME STRINGS that allows you to do just that. While there are many orhcestral sample banks and midi instruments available, never before has such an apex in sound quality (192 khz samples, full dynamic and expressive range, Stradivarius violin recordings, etc.) been reached, nor at such an intuitively correct level. From the site:

Because each stand is sampled separately, you can change the size of your string ensemble, for example, from a solo to a quartet, a chamber group or a 70-piece symphonic string section and anything in between. This ability to select and de-select players on-the-fly without loading new samples is a breakthrough. While it might seem complex to use, in fact controlling a DVZ®-RT string section (or any part of the REALTIME INSTRUMENTS libraries) is very simple; each players (or desks) MIDI channeling is handled internally so the end user never has to be concerned with it.


The R0b0tninja himself does not care for classical ensemble music, which he finds crude and offensive. Nonetheless, he is intrigued by this architecture–rather than allowing users to muddy-up their sound by playing too many instruments at once with too many voices, realtime strings divides the notes between virtual players, simulating what an actual orchestra might sound like. Undoubtedly, most of myninjas will be defeated by the $12,000 price tag and $3,500 deposit. But for any true ninja disciple that is also a robot, the only price you’ll ever really pay is in death. R0b0tninja bless.

Posted: September 28th, 2007
at 12:33pm

Categories: Digital Audio,Previews,Pro Audio,r0b0t ninja

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Represent Live

Now that you have been given so much sonic ammo, you ask, what weapon do I use to unleash them, my R0b0tninja? How could I possibly utilize a site with endless drumloops and samples, if I have no arena in which to detonate them simultaneously?

Well, the answer to your question, my ninja-padewan learner, is many-faceted in nature, as recent global events have triggered a massive outpouring of DAWs for you to choose from. Logic, Pro tools, Reason, Cakewalk, Digital Performer, Acid music, Cubase…a ninja can go on. Out of all of these possibilities, however, only one rises to the top of the R0b0tninja’s milk–a quickly growing firm named Ableton, whose program, LIVE, provides the most powerful ass-blasting technology known to r0b0tninja-kind.


But what reason do I have to believe, you surely ask. Well, the R0b0tninja keeps a low profile, for obvious reasons, and his opinion, while crucial, are not legally bound. Perhaps Pete Townshend or maybe El-P[roducto] can convince you, while I continue to make mine manifest.

Posted: September 24th, 2007
at 2:27pm

Categories: Digital Audio,Pro Audio,r0b0t ninja,Reviews

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Free Ammunition for Sonic Mercenaries

such as myself is all over the place these days, and sometimes only require a quick free registration. My favorite one, for reasons I will soon describe, is called the freesound project–I think they’re swedish or something. There’s another one called Musopen, but that’s mostly public domain classical music, and lacks the breadth of freesound.

And for my cyl0n bredren, there exists a fabled BSG site that lets you download random video and audio clips to produce your own chapter [in the epic tome, Battlestar Galactica]. The cyl0ns bust out some serious weaponry, not pictured here:


Indeed, freesound provides humans and robots alike with the ample cannon fodder and beat blasting potentials usually reserved for the godbody and its constituents. Seldom is there a confluence of such random and esoteric sounds, from movies and synthesizers to atmospheric and ambient arches. The samples are in .aiff and .wav formats, occasionally mp4, but that shouldn’t stop you–with the right program, a ninja can feel free to expand in whatever ninjaverse he or she finds themselves in. This is especially true for the random select function, a link that delivers on all of its promises; and that is all that your R0b0tNinja asks.

Posted: September 20th, 2007
at 1:42am

Categories: Digital Audio,Pro Audio

Comments: 2 comments

Reason Refill Review: Pr0t0n

To my ninjas to whom it may concern,
Those of us blessed with the use of Propellerhead’s Reason know about its powerful audio synthesis capabilities. The Proton refill pack extends that sonic blast-power (if you will) by several orders of magnitude. The Proton’s highly radioactive nature is such that I have no choice but to introduce the [R0b0tninja sample site], a conceptual heat-sink of examples of the Proton’s might, and any other instruments on its level of destruction.


For your consideration, I have posted three samples of the Proton, without any effects, hopefully describing the auditory ass-blasting that results from its containment. I say containment, of course, because you can’t really stop the Proton: containing the blast is the most that humanity can ever hope for.

In each of these samples, I have tried to musically express the wide range of the instrument [and as we all know, while true essence can be pursued, it can only be attained in the robo-celestial realm]. The bounds of space-time only allow a small channel through which one can work, and the Proton seems to anticipate this–by using the combinator within Reason, Proton effectively channels multiple soundscapes through a single channel, offering a rich depth of musical textures. When you add effects to it, prepare yourself for some higher interdimensional understanding, as I, R0b0tNinja, will tell you.
[R0b0tNinja sample page]

Posted: September 19th, 2007
at 9:08pm

Categories: Digital Audio,Pro Audio,Reviews

Comments: 2 comments

Ten0ri 0n

Yamaha, the world’s leading producer of the robot ninja’s arsenal have announced the coming of Tenori On, a hand-held visual step sequencer that is incredibly trippy to behold (probably some kind of distraction, like the glowing lure of some deep-sea monstrosity). Nevertheless, witness the immense powers that this thing seems to have, and I will berate my overlords at Yamaha to give me one out of solidarity for the cause. Robot ninja away!

YouTube Preview Image

Posted: September 6th, 2007
at 11:19am

Categories: Digital Audio,Pro Audio,Reviews

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And now a message from R0b0tr0n

Beats of the corporate Beast! R0b0tr0n offers exciting new careers in such fields as: multi-dimensional bomb- droppery, advanced turbonics, logistical metaphysics and diamond robotics. Come see which robots are right for you! Act now

Posted: August 22nd, 2007
at 1:22pm

Categories: Digital Audio,Previews,Pro Audio

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Reason 4: The Power of Thor

So my good friends over at propellerhead software, makers of the popular Reason DAW, have sent me the newest version of their software, Reason 4, for beta testing. Propellerhead has made some serious upgrades to an already fearsome music production and synthesis program, and as you well know, the R0b0t ninja fears no programing but the deadliness of his own…

thor pic

For those of you familiar with the new features in Reason 4, you already know that the son of Odin has come down from Asgard in the form of a digital instrument of god-like musical destruction. Indeed, the newest synthesizer added to the Reason rack is a powerful electromagnetic storm unto itself.
First of all, the digital Thor holds three hammers (or oscillators), instead of one, each capable of blasting its own form of light (about 5 different waveforms for each slot, including analog modeling and phase modulation). Thor also wields a tri-force of frequency mods (including one graphic formant filter), and LFOs.
Yea, beneath the surface there is more to behold: Thor can channel up to four external mono audio sources, each of which can be rerouted to any other part of the instrument. Lo, this routing can be accomplished via an intuitive patch bay located towards the bottom of His Interface. Indeed, Thor can reroute any of His internal machinations to any other, through a mystical process that causes my own R0b0t ninja circuits to resonate with power.
Below this, one will find the handle to Mojilner, the step sequencer, which can dictate anything from pitches and gates (notes and midi actions) to effects and signal processing. Like the Matrix combined with the Maelstrom, Thor embodies the 16 step progression as a sequencer and a sound sculptor. Remember, the patch-bay can reroute any signal inside Thor’s divine construction. This sequencer can simultaneously trigger and affect any filter mod, or LFO available.
Or effects processing—Thor also possesses a delay and a chorus effect, which, and I cannot stress this enough, can be rerouted elsewhere around the Norse god’s magnificent form. Make sure you can handle the implications of Thor’s sonic magnitude before you reach for that skyhammer though–your ear drums and neighbors will forever be in your silent debt, their houses left standing.
For the power of Thor is not to be trifled with—and those of you using Reason as a slave should know that Protools, Logic and Live are endlessly blessed by this sonic demonslayer. Thor repels the forces of darkness, seeking only to bathe its enemies in His divine light. As far as synthesizers go, Thor provides even the novice synth user with a powerful arsenal of asgardian power. Have no other god besides Him. Praise Odin.
But Reason allows us to have Thors beside Thors, duplicate deux ex machina in triplicate, if you wish. The only limit to the creation of these Gods of Thunder is your own twisted mind and processor–there’s nothing stopping you from cloning Thor endlessly to create entire thundergod squadrons, if you will. Thanks to Reason’s, at times unreasonable architecture, you can feel free to roam the realms of additive synthesis until the big bang reverses and spacetime is born once again. Such is the power of the one true Thundergod.
And let me tell you: as a robot who is also a ninja, I can’t tell you how often I needed but didn’t have the powers of several thundergods. Ordinary R0b0t ninja tactics, while effective, are not suited for god-battling. With the cosmic strength of a digital Thor at one’s side, the sun shines for you and you alone.
Nevertheless, the wonders of Reason 4 continue on, and therefore so must I. For you see, every week I will focus on other aspects of Reason 4 until it is finally released into the mortal realm. All praise due,

Posted: August 14th, 2007
at 3:57pm

Categories: Digital Audio,Previews,Pro Audio,r0b0t ninja,Reviews

Comments: 7 comments