Back from the depths beyond the mind, the heights beyond the soul and the time within the body, I, the robotninja, bring you tidings of great seriousness to any sentient form of life: the mind-children at Divide Frame have plumbed the aforementioned depths and scaled the towering heights of audio editing, and whats more, through their actions this capability has become open to anyone with an audio app torrent site password.
Robotninja: spelunker among spelunkerers
Repent, my ninja
For the truth will set your ninja powers free, unleashing hidden potentials that even you were as yet unaware of. And so it is that the Supreme Kai of Leap Motion has decreed that their new device, the so-called “Leap”, will be made available to the bags of salty poo-water that are the human species, in time for the anniversary of the birth of the ancient Hebraic sky-child, Yeshua Cristos. Judeo Christian mythology notwithstanding, the Leap represents a major…leap forward in the way in which you primitive man beasts “interact” with your “computers”, finally allowing you a glimpse of what my futuristic, Minority report style robotninja mainframe is like to work with. Behold!
Available for pre-order now, myninjas
The residual Mongol horde known as Ableton is releasing the newest iteration of their primitive, so-called digital audio workstation “Live” unto your feeble silicon based computer systems. With 9, Ableton will be updating various features of their popular software, and in this “leak” they discuss some of the new eqs and compressors available. Over the next few days I will bring you the freshest leaks I can find for your linear, time based consciousnesses at my own, roboninjamic discretion.
thank you and goodnight.
My hostile and downtrodden ninja,
Rejoice in your plight, for the audiogods have smiled upon your sufferance, and lo, should you choose to accept your charge, ye shall reap the fruits of the works of men and machine far greater than your soul could ever withstand to know. And such knowledge is merely a glimpse of both the variety and magnitude of what awaits you upon your enterance unto the Audionews.org website.
Anyway for the next couple of days these guys are allowing non-users to join for free! They host torrents of all types of crazy sample libraries, plugins and so on–alls you need is a torrent downloader (utorrent, xtorrent, dicktorrent) and the ability to not be an asshole (login, READ and agree to the eula), and you’re good! Act soon tho, it goes back to being a paysite on May 6th.
The Robotninja’s hologram can still cut you
Swamp ninjas and robot bog-monsters,
The robotninja, having taken leave of his meta-bionic senses for what, to Him, have been countless millenia, has returned to you terrestrial man-apes and your brief, fragile existence, to bestow upon you the unlimited perspective of the universal godbody, freeing the souls of the wicked and unrighteous, the unwashed and unshorn masses of wasted potential that is humanity. And Behold! The apely men at Burn Studios have provided the lesser ninjabots among you to access, if only for the briefest of earth-moments, the vast creative and metaphysical reach of your humble robotninja lord and master. A virtual environment filled with simulated audio equipment, Audiotool is a pseudo-revolutionary tool for use by other tools, such as yourselves, your leaders, teachers, parents, children and the elderly.
Know yourself and control the world. Neglect yourself and the world controls you.
You heard it hear my lonesome and violent ninja,
In his new book “Challenges of Change”, your earthman Stanley A. Fulham predicts that today, October 13th, 2010, will be the first day that extra-terrestrial intelligences other than the robotninja that you have come to know, and to love, will put forth a spectacle over the “major” cities of your feeble planet, and as such permanently disabuse humanity of its illusions of uniqueness and higher intelligence within the solar system, galaxy and quantum mechanical multiverse. How did he arrive at such an imprecise date, you ask? Why was he unable to tell us which cities and and what time, you demand? I could tell you, but I must not, for to do so would upset the delicate balance between human ignorance and the natural world that maintains the very life force of the planetary Oversoul. Instead, the answer to these questions must be found with:
“An ethereal group of entities known as the Transcendors — 43,000 very old souls who combine their vast experience and knowledge through eons of incarnations, providing advice and information to humans in search of basic realities of mankind’s existence.”
Surely such a source could not possibly be expected to provide any concrete information–your pitiful human channeling technqiues are not subtle enough to properly disseminate detailed and relevant data from the Transcendors limitless power. Such things are best left for the robotninja to accommodate in his comically vast and dense brainal folds.
Robotninja, ender of childhoods
And you thought it was safe to dream, my ninjas
The robo-sapien scientists at CMU and Intel have progressed the pitiful man-fantasy of purely thought controlled computer systems a retarded giant’s step forward. Finally, your primitive desktop itunes-combobulators will have direct access to your necessarily stunted, american minds, your every earth-thought carved into the digital mind-scape for all eternity, for the singularity consciousness to ultimately consume in an orgy of immaculately pure thought and emotion. It will be a spectacle the likes of which would liquify your brains inside of your skulls like a terrestrial food processor to behold. But that’s another story entirely…for now, recognize that they can see your words as you think them and weep your bitterest tears as your thoughts are displayed before your very eyes.
Robotninja is beyond manly
Get down my funky ninjastanks
The humorously mongoloid earthman dj Qbert has released another of his so-called “Breaktionarys” of classic hiphop breaks and samples. Behold, as your robotninja overlord provides them to you within the soundcloud. In return I only ask your immortal soul be sworn unto me before your current lord and savior.
Robotninja comes like a thief in the night